8 Acts Of Chivalry To Bring Back
The more women I talk to, the more I realize that the gentleman is a rare breed. The mission of the New Chivalry Movement is to bring men (and women) together who strive to be the best versions of themselves and love and respect those around them.
As the gentleman has become less prominent, so have the respectful acts that define him. Here are 8 acts of chivalry we often overlook and should work to bring back.
Giving up your seat.
Whether on a bus or on a crowded subway, giving up your seat to another is a rare but great sign of respect. I always cringe a bit when I see a woman or elderly person forced to stand while young men remain distracted by their phones. It all comes down to being aware of your surroundings and acting accordingly.
Only one in seven men will offer their seat to a woman on a train or bus.
Pulling out a woman’s chair.
This one, as many others, is simple but rare. You don’t have to run around to your date’s side of the table to make sure you pull out her chair each time, but when convenient, it’s a nice extra touch.
Less than one in five men will regularly pull out a chair for a woman to sit down. That’s under 20%.
Open doors for her.
I have countless articles with this point already in them, but it’s one of the staples of chivalrous respect and probably the easiest to perform, as we all walk through doors every day. I don’t want to make any assumptions, but something tells me the extra few seconds it takes to open a door or let someone walk through first won’t ruin your day.
The same goes for car doors, a woman will appreciate you getting out of the car to open the door for her, or walking around to her side first. It’s amazing to me how many men don’t do this. I do it literally every single time my girlfriend (or any woman) gets into my car.
Call, don’t text a date invite.
Just the fact that you would take the time to actually call a woman to ask her out on a date will put you light years ahead of your competition (of which there is a lot). Plus, you’ll be able to tell how excited or enthusiastic she is (or isn’t) about accepting your offer by actually hearing her voice.
Compliments, compliments, compliments.
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that it’s a rare occasion for a woman to be complimented in her relationship?
What? Why?
Every guy in a relationship should take the time every day to let his woman know how beautiful he thinks she is.
Walking on the street-side of the sidewalk.
The purpose of this lost art is to show your willingness to be splashed instead of a woman should a passing car run through a puddle. Furthermore, in some countries people would throw trash out of windows, and the person walking closer to the building, was less likely to be hit.
It’s an effortless way to show her that you care.
Walking her to her door.
At the end of your date, especially early on in the relationship, walk her safely to her door. This is especially important if she lives in a city. It shows you’re willing to put effort into protecting her and makes her feel safe – two important aspects of building her trust and comfort.
Parking far away? Drop her off first.
If you’re having a hard time finding a parking space close to her destination, offer to drop her off at the door while you go and look for a spot. She may be fine with walking the distance, but it’s a nice gesture to save her the effort, especially if she’s wearing heels.
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As gentlemen in modern times, you automatically stand out from the crowd. These points above are easy and free, but one would be surprised how rarely they actually occur. For those of us who naturally make it part of our daily lives, it’s difficult to picture how someone else couldn’t. But – it happens.
The new era of chivalry is not rooted in the chauvinistic mindset of the past. We have evolved past performing these acts for women because “they can’t do it themselves.”
The new gentleman performs these acts for the right reasons – love, caring, and respect.
Categories: Personal Perspective
Chief, I have a tough time with one… In this day and age, the way men are abused and bullied with political correctness run amok, with charges of sexism simply for breathing, for whining complaints about such things as ‘dominating the sport of [insert sport here]’, I’m a little beat down. I’m tired, and I am not happy. I always give up my seat for an elderly or pregnant woman, every single time without hesitation. However, when it comes to a normal, healthy female – forget it. Welcome to the age of equality. Women want to be treated as though they’re strong? Well, enjoy it tough girl. Stand there. I realize the notion is that I should be above this – I do get it. I just don’t care. I’ve had enough.
I do like many of the ideas of the chivalry movement – I just get stuck when it comes to the “we want it both ways” of feminism.
I agree with Jim. If a man offered me his seat, and I wasn’t ill or injured or pregnant, I wouldn’t feel right accepting it, as I’m just as capable as he is of standing and don’t see why he should put himself out on my behalf, especially if we don’t know each other. However, other small signs of caring and respect are wonderful and should go both ways. It’s no good expecting one half to respect the other if it isn’t mutual. Overall, manners and etiquette are in a pretty sorry state right now, on both sides of the fence.
What a refreshing article to read in the times we currently live in. I was recently in Mexico City and my 86 year old uncle’s friend, who was driving us all over the city, always opened and closed the car door for me. He always pulled out the chair for me at the restaurant. He was always so respectful and polite. How sad it is that I had to leave my home country to experience these acts of politeness.
I agree and appreciate when (if) a lady politely refuses the offer. This is where reciprocating respect is key. It’s not an act of submission, flirting or sexism; it’s a decent act of human respect for others. Placing others above self takes great strength. I wish guys would understand that point.
This is very true. What has been lost is the concept of courtesy. It’s not about what one can and can’t do for oneself, it’s about esteeming each other in visible ways. My husband doesn’t usually open my car door, but I haven’t pumped gas in years.
I love that statement. No not the one about not pumping gas! About esteeming each other in visible ways. Thank you.
Sadly, I think too many of us never see the behaviors modeled, so it doesn’t even occur to us. I’ve heard of people offering their seat, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it in person. I did have a boyfriend that opened the car door for me, and I thought it very sweet. At least people who have never seen the behavior also don’t expect it and then get disappointed.
Respect and kindness. You are correct. If only our entire society practiced more kindness and respect with each other.
I’ve done every one of these acts. Sometimes they seem to be appreciated, at other times they go unnoticed, but at least I tried. Thanks so much for the reminder that–despite efforts to the contrary–chivalry is not dead.