Marriage Matters.TV: The Most Important Thing In Marriage

Show’s Unedited Transcript:

Show’s transcript: unedited
hi I’m Scott Silverii and this is my wife Leah and we’re with marriage matters and we appreciate you joining us for today’s episode first one very cool so before we get started we want to take care of a little housecleaning yes housekeeping I guess the big thing is is we’re gonna post each day session on our
website at marriage matters dot me right mm-hmm and you can follow us there and share this series on Facebook we’d
really appreciate it if you yeah if you share it with your friends your church family on our Facebook page is marriage
matters yes and if you haven’t liked it we ask that you do like it and also share it Lea is a hundred percent correct so we appreciate that and what about the resource marriage on the rocks well we you’re going to start a resource right here on each episode talking about marriage on the rock and that’s a course
that we’re facilitators in and it’s helped our marriage immensely it’s been a great resource for for our marriage and we hope that it’s a great resource for you guys yes so we’re gonna kind of
lead y’all through that right and it was developed by the by marriage today mm-hmm pastor Jimmy Evans who’s one of our
pastors and he really did like Leah said we’re gonna we’re going to talk a little bit more about what it’s done for our
marriage and some of the challenges we had but but it really is it is a valuable resource Leah and I are both certified we felt
the commitment and we felt like we had though we had the will to help other couples but we didn’t have the weight right and this this is so magnificent and we truly believe in it so much so
that we we’ve been through the course we’ve received the certification and luckily and developed a relationship
with with the folks over in marriage today yeah so we want to make it available to you it’s on our website it at marriage matters dot mean which i think is a cool website and we have
several free regional resources yeah so um also what we’d like to do is we want to start everything off like we do with prayer mm-hmm always every day we start our day with prayer
so what we’d like to make available is that if you go to our website marriage
matters dot me there’s there’s a tab on
there that says prayer request and you
can submit it it’s absolutely
confidential we value your prayers we
thank you for trusting us with them and
we take them super serious so if you’re
so inclined to submit there or you can
submit them in the comments below and
and we will definitely we will pray over
this if you want to contact with you
we’ll reach out but up but our our
prayer has always been that you know God
God saved our marriage and we told them
we said you know if you save it we’re
gonna we’re gonna pay it forward and I
and this is part of that so so we would
we’d like to start start with prayer and
leadership mind you mind leading today’s
prayer you betcha
very cool Heavenly Father I just thank
you so much for this day and I just ask
that you bless every marriage out there
and and just especially especially
marriages that are hurting and in need
of healing I just pray that you bless
them and and that the Holy Spirit just
just washes those marriages and that
couples can be whole and families can be
whole and children can have both their
parents we just pray that that blessing
over every marriage and just pray for us
today and that we have a good message
and facilitating and that we just ask
that anyone in need of healing in their
marriage that they reach out that this
touches them in some way and we just ask
all these things in your name father
Jesus name Amen amen
yeah that uh that is so valuable and and
I know that’ll be a conversation for a
topic for another day but about praying
together and the value and the power of
praying together and and also the
challenges of praying together but uh
but we can we can attest that prayer has
changed the the tone of our marriage
really so uh so yeah great way to start
the day out no it really is so put your
prayer request in the comments below or
go to marriage matters dot meet and
submit them there absolutely cool
okay so part of this episode is we also
want to we want to challenge you and
like everybody likes a good challenge
unless they don’t but these are the Welo
a good challenge but but these are these
are three challenges that each episode
we really want you to keep these things
in mind because it’s going to be
important right you know and other than
but we love and we think that your best
benefit from active participation right
right so these are three challenges that
we’re going to want to present to you
right the first is to be committed if
you and your spouse are committed to God
first and then to each other your
marriage can survive anything and become
the marriage of your dreams very cool
the next thing is to be bold some of the
discussions may challenge you to talk
about important issues it’s normal to
feel some resistance especially when
you’ve been hurt or disappointed however
it’s important to let your spouse know
what’s really going on in your heart and
in your mind great you and the third
thing is we want you to be focused some
discussions may present an opportunity
to be critical of your spouse there will
be times when you can lovingly say how
you feel about important issues but the
key to achieving intimacy is a
willingness to focus on what you can do
yourself yeah that’s a good thing and
listen guys the bottom line you know the
most perfect marriage is made up of two
imperfect people who were willing to
roll up their sleeves and get down in
the dirt and dig as deep as it requires
and lift as heavy as it can and just
refused to give up right it is so easy
to say I quit right it is over 50
percent of the time you say people say I
guys listen don’t don’t we don’t buy
into too much of what like these like
the pro marriage sites I mean they’re
great I mean they’re great but you see
you see the pretty side right right yeah
listen they got pretty because they were
because they got dirty and they got ugly
right and they refused to give up listen
we’re no different right we were no
different and I you know we we we
you know we’re at the bottom and we had
a dig and fight and claw like animals to
get back to get to where we are and it’s
worth it it is an internal investor
investment that there’s no regrets
behind right so that guys to us is one
of the most important things that we
could convey to you is listen it ain’t
easy and it ain’t pretty but it is
amazing and it is worth it yeah I mean
that’s exactly that’s what our prayer is
for every marriage you know is that the
mayor just stay together they stay hold
the family stay whole that’s huge
you’re right I mean you know the kids
there’s so many there’s so many factors
that are in there so what we want to
talk about is what wasn’t dirty and and
tough or what was working on these these
two books together and this is a great
time to start these prayer challenges
it’s 31 days of Prayer we’re just
starting out 2018 anytime is a good time
to start but why not start out the year
with with 31 days of Prayer and there’s
31 days of Prayer for men 31 days of
Prayer for women and and you know you
and I each each wrote the respective
ones and we prayed over err I mean we
prayed every prayer in here over the
people who are reading and you know not
only is there a prayer in there but
there’s a Bible verse to go with the
prayers and there’s and then there’s
some challenging questions to nee with
each journal pages so you know we we
want you not only to pray and have you
know prayers is the start of your
relationship with God and so we not only
want you to have an active daily prayer
line you know we want you to really
think about what you’re praying and and
how it’s gonna change you you know and
think about the questions in there and
and there’s some hard questions oh yeah
definitely I mean it is it is active
application it’s not just reading a
prayer something someone else wrote I
mean it is it is specific to men it is
specific to women it is prayed about
some of the prayers I know we’re
prophetic prayers and then when you when
you get into the the the workbook
section of it it’s meant for you
begins very personal and very specific
to you and that was the purpose so we do
we we’re gonna have the links in the
comments and also on our website which
is marriage matters not me I love that
marriage matters that me and so so you
know that it does brings us back it
brings us to prayer being bringing one
of the most important communication
tools in your marriage but we want to
talk today about the most important
issue in marriage and that is is your
personal relationship with God and Lissa
don’t don’t don’t be fooled you know
that is the key factor in in determining
whether or not you’re going to be
successful in your marriage listen I
guarantee you take God out of the
equation you’re gonna be the 50
percentile or first-time marriage and
divorce you keep him out in your second
marriage will be in the sixty-three
percentile of failed marriages and by
your third time and if you’re still
refusing to make put God in the center
you can count on being in that 74th
percentile of divorce and we don’t say
it wait and jest it’s really sad and
we’ve been there and so you know it is
and listen it is your personal
relationship with yours so you know we
do we get we get a lot of emails we get
a lot with a lot of communication and
everybody’s like I want you to fix my
spouse so what you different fix my my
husband or wife pray form well it’s like
how about we pray for you like what is
your personal relationship with God you
know that is the key I mean it is and
listen you know and Leah will attest to
it that a praying woman can change her
husband you’re the power of prayer not
through nagging and and and criticizing
and through the power of prayer so your
personal relationship is the most
important part of a successful marriage
so one of the other things we were
talking about is is is the most what is
the most common factor in the failure of
marriages its unmet expectations yeah
you know and we’re
you talk about people we know and I mean
I’ve heard it all the time you hear it
all the time people say things like I’m
not happy which is a completely selfish
right statement but you know and I’m
sure you guys have heard that people
friends whatever saying I’m not happy
and or are things like you know my
spouse isn’t meeting my needs
alright so although right right and and
what they’re really saying is you’re not
being Jesus to me right because that’s
what they’re looking for knowing that
they’re seeking that out and they’re
looking for it in their spouse and
you’re never gonna find it right ever
never know and it is I mean it is you
know leus we talked about it before
where you know you meet somebody and
yeah you’re gonna you’re gonna lie
you’re gonna put on your your best
facade your best face forward and and
you’re gonna say all the right things
and and it’s easy to get swept up you
know it’s easy to guess what this fairy
tale romance and and bam you know after
the big wedding you wake up the next day
and then you’re married right and it’s
it goes downhill from there right and
all of a sudden you’re married to
someone who’s not as perfect as you
thought they were no I mean everybody’s
perfect and it talks right or a poufy
wedding dress but the next morning you
wake up and you’re in boxers and right
I’m shaven and that’s where that’s where
somebody who doesn’t take out the trash
sure who doesn’t romance you or or he
takes you for granted or right or who
nags at you or you know it’s like all of
these little things that were you didn’t
know beforehand right come to the
surface and and then all of a sudden
you’re not happy right yeah the reason
you’re not happy is again it goes back
to your personal relationship with God
you know listen I love Leah Leah is
amazing she is everything that I could
have ever prayed for in a wife but you
know what she’s not Jesus she will never
ever ever be Jesus she can be
christ-like but she is never going to be
Jesus right and that’s the reality and
if I expect her to be man how unfair is
that you know and disappointed
you’re gonna be major disappointed I
mean you know it is it is an unrealistic
expectation that you’re putting on
another human being and all you’re doing
is setting yourself up for failure
why because of unmet expectations why
because you insist on seeking God
everywhere but God right so you’re
looking to your spouse to be Christ and
listen they’re not there never will be
they can’t be right and what does God
say well and that’s listen that’s what
you do it you know we we see a lot of
people on you know like social media and
they’ll say I live for my kids my kid is
the only reason that I survive that I
live you know that’s almost enough front
to God because you are in a you know
what we talked about I you know they’re
no other gods or idols and when you
start putting marriage above God and you
put your kids above God you put your
spouse on this pedestal that they’re
never going to you know they’re never
gonna to reach those standards you know
I mean they are a human person which
means that they’re a sinner right you
know they’re not perfect well you know
and and they deserve the same grace and
mercy and compassion of Jesus Christ as
you do right you know and you know the
other thing you do and as you were
saying it got put on my heart it’s when
you put your spouse on that pedestal in
a christ-like position you make it
impossible for your spouse to make
himself or herself vulnerable and listen
and if they and if they sin and they
they have to ask for forgiveness they’re
not there they’re no longer in a
position of humanity where you know
you’ve made them cry slight you made
them godlike so if they sin if they fail
they cannot go to you and say and show
those imperfections yes yeah but because
number one it’s hard to do number two
you’ve given them a false sense of deity
that either they don’t want to break or
that or they can’t or they can’t they
don’t want to let you down right you
know so I’m glad you said that because
it is a
really a very cool point so what we’re
talking about is you know the point
about looking for for God and other
people you know and you do you see it
and you know the first marriage is
secondary and it is you look for God in
somebody you don’t find it you’re
disappointed you fall out of love and
you divorce and it back you’re really
very and then and we call that the
marriage go-round
and you know it’s like when does it stop
well it stops you know when you stop
looking for God and inhuman people so
the example I would like to like we want
to share is it’s a beautiful story and
it’s from John 4 and it runs from 7 to
26 and it’s the story of the woman at
the well and and you know what younger
and and maybe less mature and a
Christian walk and and you hear the
story you read the story you’re like oh
my gosh she had five husbands and she’s
living with a guy you know that’s not
the point of the story the point of the
story is is to show obviously Christ
God’s compassion and the fact that this
woman had been seeking God and five
husbands and working on her six and I’d
like to read to you again the the whole
story the whole encounter is John 4:7
through 26 but I want to read this part
to you it says the woman said to him Sir
give me this water so that I won’t get
thirsty and have to keep coming here to
draw water he told her go call your
husband and come back I have no husband
she replied jesus said to her you’re
right when you say you have no husband
the fact is you’ve had five husbands and
the man you now have is not your husband
what you have just said is quite true
you know what an encounter Lee and I
enjoy you know sometimes Jesus is a
rascal I’m just gonna say it you know
and you don’t he’s got a great sense of
humor and and and you know he knew she’d
been divorced five times he knew the guy
she was living with wasn’t her husband
and what does he say hey go get your
husband and bring him back right you
know and and and he wasn’t making fun of
her right you know I kinda always kind
of see it as like you know a lot of
times humor is the best way to to break
it a little bit I don’t say sarcasm you
know but a little ribby kind of breaks
the ice and listen you’re talking about
here’s Jesus and he’s talking to a
Samaritan and they were you know they’re
like the Saints and the Cowboys I mean
they’re not they’re not friends on
Sunday you know and this is the kind of
it’s environment that they that Christ
stepped into when he when he encountered
her and you know and it was it’s not
that she’s a bad person and it’s just
that she was looking for something so we
when we go down in the 25th verse she
says she um she says you know he asked
do you know you’re talking to and or do
you know the truth and the spirit she
says I know the Messiah called Christ is
coming she says when he comes he will
explain everything to us and then Jesus
declared I the one speaking to you I am
he and I thought that was so cool
because he couldn’t you know he’s like
you’re talking to him you know kind of
kind of whack what you talking to him
but but in that she she’s aware of the
Messiah she’s aware that the Christ is
coming so she’s watching she’s seeking
she’s looking for God she’s looking for
Christ but where’s she looking in
husband one husband – husband three
husband four husband five and working on
six and listen she would have had a
hundred husbands she would have never
found the Messiah Christ in any of those
men and and Jesus gives her the answer
you know back in verse 13 he says
everyone who drinks this water will be
thirsty again but whoever drinks the
water I give them will never thirst you
know and you know it’s that’s eternal
life you know it drink from from his
water right and she’ll have eternal life
and you know and we’ve talked about it
before where there’s never any
coincidences right they are out of well
they’re talking about water and and you
know initially she doesn’t realize she’s
talking about thirst she’s talking about
human thirst you know he’s talking about
Oh Thurston she’s talking about
quenching her thirst
you know I’m thirsty it’s hot I want
some of your water he’s talking about
like you said the living water the
eternal life giving living water so it’s
not it’s not a coincidence that he
encountered this woman at a source of
water and that he is that the source of
living water yeah and I mean it’s
incredible you know that one
conversation you know what he told her
to do was to go back to her community
right and tell them you know what what
she heard what he said and and look what
she did you know she changed the hearts
of an entire community you know and
brought him to God no that’s powerful
let you know when we talk about you know
when you know Jesus can use you listen
we get caught up where we’re like well
you know you know we both been divorced
and we’re blending a family and we’ve
got our own problems and and you know
we’re not perfect and dadadadadadada and
this is the story this is what another
point in the story that makes it so
that’s what Jesus did he’s like here’s a
woman married five even by today’s
standards right five marriages and
working on her sixth is not the most
highly esteemed person in the village
she’s an outcast you know but but what
did what did he do he used her he used
her I mean it is and I’m always glad
when you make that point because I think
it is it is so important for to
understand that you’re right she was an
outcast but not to God right not to
Christ and and he encouraged her you go
back and you let him know what you’ve
hey but I do I think it’s such a
beautiful story so you know when you
look at it in the context of that you
know some of the some of the points but
like we said you know what I love is
that you know Jesus knew she wasn’t
married and he gave her the opportunity
to tell the truth and she did you know I
mean yeah I’m not married
the gun with and but he didn’t condemn
her he witnessed to her he showed
compassion and you know and that’s an
example with you know what we talked
about it if you place your spouse up in
a in a position of ass of a demigod in
this deity position you make it
impossible for them to to step down or
to break that that facade to confess and
admit you know when they do wrong beg
for for forgiveness and and you know
Jesus’s example had he condemned her you
know and just called her names and and
you know and all you this and that
listen I mean what type of witness shoot
would she have been right but he didn’t
he encouraged her he said what you said
was the truth and then he shared who he
was with her looks like it mirrors our
own personal relationship with Christ
you know I mean that’s what he he has
missed confessed you know come to him
and and confess and repent with a you
know a repentant heart and you know
Jesus showed her compassion but you know
he has such grace and mercy
you know everything just the time on the
cross I mean none of us deserve that
what he did for us on the cross and you
know you know your sin is no greater
than my sin and vice versa you know send
us in and that he treated all of us you
know you know he’s washed us all clean
by by you know by the blood and and with
grace and mercy and you know I mean he
showed showed that to her to that to the
moment at them well and that’s the
example in our own marriage in our in
our own relationships that that’s that’s
the way we have to treat our spouses I
mean you know if he’s gonna treat a
woman who’s been married five times
who’s a Samaritan you know not the most
godly of people and and married divorced
five times working on her others living
with a guy in sin an outcast and any
treats her with mercy and grace and
dignity mm-hmm you know that’s the way
we’ve got to we’ve got to treat each
other you know what I really did I
thought that that was on I just thought
it was really a beautiful story you know
and the fact that she was
you know like like we said before every
creation has that innate desire to know
the Creator right and you know as a
Samaritan she probably never heard of
she probably you know I mean or practice
worship or her sought but she knew she
heard that the Messiah was coming that
Christ was coming and like she said she
was honest I don’t know when he gets
here he’s gonna explain it to us God
plants that seed in every yeah every
living person right you know and that
desire to know God you know you talk
about that as a child you know you
didn’t grow up in a godly household
right or where God was introduced but
you need it was something he knew that
there was a God there no I know and so
like that desire to seek is is in all of
us you know you don’t have the knowledge
given to you you know so some of that
some of the main points that we you know
that we want to really stress is that
although it would be so easy to kick
them when they’re down and listen we’ve
been divorced you know I can guarantee
you that everybody knows either you’ve
been divorced or you know somebody
divorced or you know someone heading
towards divorce and you know what it is
it is so easy to kick him when they’re
down oh I told you that one that’ll work
out I knew that were no good you know
man come on look what Jesus does when
he’s can when he’s talking to a woman
with five divorces working on number six
he had compassion because he knew she
was struggling with all those failed
marriages that’s a lot of pain let’s say
you know and and one of the big things
that we seek is freedom from our past
from our past pain so it would have been
so easy for him to waggle his finger at
her and and say be go on but he didn’t
show compassion and you know that’s
that’s through this ministry is that
what we’ve learned and what we what we
share is compassion for people
struggling in a failed marriage now the
best way to to fix that fail marriage
mmm-hmm is God is Christ so the other
point the other point we’re going to
make about maritime marriage was created
by God
now it’s a holy union it’s a spiritual
union and I mean it’s one of the first
things that he did you know created Adam
and then from Adam he created Eve you
know and then they shall become one
marriage is so important to God it’s one
of the most important things no and you
know we’ve talked about it before and
really you were you were talking a lot
about it last year we’re doing a lot of
praying about it is you know it is
marriage is a it’s a it’s a spiritual
institution and then you know when you
start to understand that and we’ll talk
about this in another episode the
difference between a covenant and a
contract you know and just to touch on
it but we will cover it more but you
know and you helped me to see that was
that you know covenant is it’s holy it’s
eternal it’s non-breakable and a
covenant involves husband the wife and
God and it’s unbreakable
right and the contract is what we’ve
through society we’ve created it is a
civil contract you know and the
differences are huge but some of the
most important is civil contracts they
can be amended they can be renegotiated
they can be terminated there’s loopholes
you know a big thing in a contract you
enter into a contract with your best
interests in mind right a covenant is
you know it’s not a 50/50 it’s a hundred
hundred you’re both giving everything
you got to make it happen
so those are those are some of the
differences and we do we won’t we will
cover that another episode and then of
course the most important thing about
marriage is your personal relationship
with God I mean you know what we can
read scripture or we can we can you know
do exercises and we can have date night
until where until we’re blue in the face
that’s not gonna save your marriage it
is your personal relationship with God
not your spouse’s that comes second your
relationship not your kids that comes
third it is your personal relationship
with God and you’ve got to pursue him
you’ve got to seek Him you got to cry
out to him and you know like Leah said
you know a praying woman can change the
behavior of her husband and I don’t know
if it’s gonna get him to take the car
which out but but it has an effect it
has a supernatural spiritual effect and
look I’ll tell you you know you know I’m
over 50 years old and you think what set
my ways I’ve been divorced you know
listen I don’t know I don’t need you
know I don’t want to go through this
stuff again I’m set in my ways I’ve been
single a long time you don’t just change
that you don’t just wake up and say wha
well almost I’m gonna change you know
it’s a supernatural absolutely real
change and look we do we pray a lot
about that the gifts the fruits of the
spirit you know and like like for me
like like like I want to say I’m not a
kind person but like gentleness you know
I am NOT a gentle person right I mean
I’m a little bit of a barbarian I’m just
gonna be I’m gonna be honest and I do I
pray I do not pray for the fruits of the
spirit and really general you know
gentleness is one of is one of the
things that I pray about you know and
then I do so it is it takes a
supernatural effort and and how do you
how do you jump-start the supernatural
process yeah yeah I mean your spouse
should see you should see Christ in each
other you know and good times a good one
you know that’s you know that’s one of
the things and and so like your personal
relationship with Christ and then coming
together and having a relationship
because because it’s not just husband
and wife it’s husband and wife and God
you know I mean there’s three in that
marriage and and so you know you’ve got
to have that personal relationship and
you have a relationship that the two of
you have with my life and you know that
and that means praying together and you
know reading the word and really digging
in and all those things you know so
really important to have that so we are
so happy that you joined us for this for
this episode we want to see you the next
and we just a couple little housekeeping
items is like I said we would love to
see you at the
except a–so we’re going to put a like
event notice out there with a date on it
so you know exactly what were there also
likely I said earlier I believe that but
each episode is going to be posted on
our face at our website which is
marriage matters dot me which I love
that so we will see you at the next
episode oh the other thing is it’s so
important that you that you do like and
you comment and you share and like we
said earlier either you’ve been divorced
you know someone who’s been divorced or
you know someone going through a divorce
you sharing this sometimes it’s hard to
talk to people like you don’t know what
to say right it’s personal you don’t
want to get in their business a second
share from a video could make all the
difference in the world and then they’ll
get plugged in to this series and and
and I’ll ask you a favor
one of the things that I learned this
week with Facebook it always changes
that if you just hit like it like it
registers real low on this rating scale
but if you hit like the love button it
pushes it up in there algorithms so it
gets more visibility so we ask you to
you got the like button but we asked you
to hit the love but how appropriate the
love button with our mugs it matches I
know so also what we’re we’re gonna ask
you to do is invite your friends invite
family again like I said sometimes it’s
hard to you don’t want to get in
somebody’s business you know so you just
say hey guys check out check out
marriage matters right well I mean just
think how impactful it is like if you at
home could make one family stick
together just by saying hey why don’t
you check this you know what’s your bet
that kids are gonna have a whole
household I know they’re gonna both
parents yeah
and it’s an eternal investment okay look
we do we understand about not want to
get in people’s business that’s the
hardest part of this ministry is is
getting getting down into the weeds with
with folks and but that’s that’s where
that’s where our passion is also you
know with with your with your church you
know we are we’re certified through
marriage today with marriage on the rock
it’s a great program there’s a there’s a
program so if your church is interested
in that you know we’d be happy to
facilitate that online they think we
should have had it listed his number of
number one we got out of number four
please please please pray over this
series pray over us that we continue to
deliver the series that God is you know
continues to work through us but we
really do it is so important that we
have your prayers and like Leah said if
your prayers our prayers our combined
effort if we can save one marriage can
you imagine just just to be able to to
know one child just one child that their
mom and dad and they are going to stay
together as a family unit in a Bible
based God centered relationship man
that’s powerful
that is crazy powerful please we ask you
to pray over this series and a Corral
for us and then the last thing on our
heart to do is that if you check out our
website at marriage matters dot me
you’ll have access to marriage on the
rock and some other free resources there
you know we provide free there so we
would encourage you to check them all
out along with the prayer requests yeah
so we do we ask you we we do if you have
comments you put them in the comments
below I know this is a recorded segment
but but we do we review every when I
reply we read them the links to our
website are going to be there the links
to the books are going to be there
and again I’m on our website you can go
there marriage matters dot me and
there’s a prayer request tab totally
confidential and or you can put your
prayer requests in in these comments and
we’ll address those as well
so we have covered a lot in this first
episode and it’s just getting started
all right I’m telling you God’s gonna do
an amazing work I’m excited only if you
plug in you share you invite what you
gotta pray we are asking you to pray for
us for this series and for those people
that is going to touch there’s a couple
out there right now there’s a wife right
now who is losing her husband her kids
in the other room because she can’t bear
to go in there and and tell him where
daddy is there’s a couple right now that
a wife that if she sees this series this
video this episode will give her the
answers that she’s looking for and just
the encouragement to see Christ to seek
God to save her her personal
relationship with with God and then to
pray through for the restoration of her
family right you know how powerful that
is that we all as a community front we
have that authority that God’s invested
in us through prayer through
participation they’re sharing this
series we have the ability to affect
just one family think on an exponential
scale that’s how amazing that is so it’s
a partnership this is a total partnership between us and you and it starts with prayer so we’ll see you next
episode no very cool I’ll be here so we thank
you god bless you and we’ll see you next time


Get God’s Word To Kick Start 2018

Get God’s Word To Kick Start 2018

Dear Brothers,
I prayed for a word to start 2018, and 3 separate times this verse was shared by 3 different believers. As I prayed over it, God spoke over this verse and I realized it exactly describes the year my wife and I had in 2017, and the reassurances going forward this year. I love His promise about our enemies that they are NEVER to rise again.
Brothers – what are our enemies that God has extinguished? Alcohol, sex, drugs, porn, gambling, violence, divorce, depression. Can we be tempted to return to the battlefield and resuscitate our enemies? Yes, temptation is always possible, but let’s always encourage each other to let them lie snuffed out like a wick.
Please read this short verse and allow it to speak power over your life. God shares a past, an action, a command, and a promise in Isaiah. I’m praying over this verse this week and always lift up our Brick Breakers community. I pray you’ll allow this promise to encourage you.
Much Love / Much Respect,
This is what the Lord says—
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,
who drew out the chariots and horses,
the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:
“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:16-19

God’s Plan: To Prosper You And Not To Harm You

God’s Plan: To Prosper You And Not To Harm You

Being a man of God is not easy work. It’s not for the faint of heart or the weak-willed. If you’re like me, you’ve lost friends, been talked about behind your back, and become the butt of jokes when you messed up and everyone was always glad to tell others.

To be honest, sometimes I wonder “Why?”

But I know why, and we all know the cost. But what’s the motivation, the drive and the purpose to work every day to be called a man of God if most of the time our own family and friends seem to disrespect us?

Because we were called and God has got a plan for each of us men. Yes, each of us men of God. No it’s not easy, but what is the alternative?

Much Love / Much Respect,

Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Pray Like A Man: Warrior’s Life

Pray Like A Man: Warrior’s Life

I love to pray. It’s my time to communicate with my Father. I start off in a loving praise and thanksgiving along with just talking to Him about recent events. I recap continuing prayers and situations I have given to God to handle. I also pray for you in our Brick Breakers community of warriors who have stepped into the #Trenches for Christ.
Somewhere along the way, I quit thinking about what to say and the connection begins to mesh on a spiritual realm. God often stops me from moving in one direction and leads me back where He wants me to be. Then I know I’m in His will.
I’ve learned to pray with expectancy. We are going before the Creator of all. If you’re not sure what you are praying for, then think through your requests first. God promises you Himself that He will grant your every desire. The key is that the desires of your heart must be in alignment with God’s desire for your life.
If you feel like your prayers are bouncing back off the ceiling, then search your soul like David, and make sure that the barrier of sin is not cutting off your connection to Him. God cannot listen to or look upon sin. Go to Him in confession and repentance. God will not get mad at you – He loves you.
We are men of God. The first place to begin acting like it is in communication with Him. Go to Him with a humble, sin-free heart. Then be bold about His love for you. He says to ask and you shall receive…but you must ask in accordance to His will for your life. How do you know His will? Ask Him.
What do you see when you look at the man in this image? Weak, broken, sad, alone?
How about at peace, humility, confident, in prayer, expecting miracles, spending time with his Father.
I love praying for others, but please do not ever forget the power you possess to pray over your wife, kids, family, friends and yourself. You are His son, and He loves you like crazy. Show Him some love back. I try to give God shout outs through the day. A quick Thank you, Lord when I arrive somewhere safe, or meet someone new, or feel the presence of the Holy Spirit move, or have a great meal.
I love this from James. He talks about Elijah, who was like you and me and prayed power over the weather. With full on winter coming, how great would that be?
Warriors, let’s always exercise our spiritual strength and pray like men.
Much Love / Much Respect,
“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit.”
James 5:16-18
PLEASE SHARE – Pray Like A Man: Warrior’s Life

7 Churches In Revelation | 7 Messages In Marriage

NOTE: I wrote this article for Faithful ReMarriage Blended Family – Join us over there.
The first page in the book of Revelation is usually where most truth-seekers seem to stop. We’ve all heard the stories about end times, but the idea shutters our desire to understand it. Most people refuse to accept the reality that our existence as we know it, will cease to exist.

Carry The Marriage Banner

But until that time of tribulation, Jesus encourages us to carry on. Of course, He doesn’t want us lounging around gazing up at the sky. We’re expected to practice active patience by serving others as we grow His kingdom.
ReMarriage is an area of ministry where our heart is drawn. We’ve not only been blessed by a second chance at love and family, but Leah and I understand that the marriage model is based on the way God wants to share life with us.
Marriage mirrors God’s relationship model.

God Created Marriage

Marriage is emphasized at the very beginning and end of the bible. It is also emphasized throughout God’s teachings. Adam and Eve are not merely about the creation story, they are about the very first marriage.
It was never just Adam and Eve in the Garden. God was part of the marriage relationship. He walked and talked with them as they did each other. It was only when they turned away from God that their marriage, and thus their relationship with God suffered.
God is the glue that divorce-proofs your marriage.
The first miracle performed by Jesus was at a wedding. This wasn’t a coincidence. This was by design to show the importance of the marriage model as it applies to God’s people and to the way we intimately relate with God.
The book of Revelation, the final book in God’s word, ends with the marriage supper of the Lamb. Read this powerful passage, and allow the heart that God has for marriage to show you how important it is to God.
“Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, 
For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous
deeds of the saints. 
And the angel said[a] to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”
Revelation 19:6-9

7 Churches In Revelation | 7 Messages In Marriage

Admittedly, Revelations doesn’t naturally cry out romance, remarriage and restoration of marital relationships. It’s a no nonsense message to the 7 churches of Asia. We the church are His people and He desires a marriage-model relationship with us, the messages to the 7 churches are also messages about marriage.

The church in Ephesus had forsaken its first love: (Revelation 2:1-7)

This church is similar to the married couples who have remained together and weathered the storms, temptation and trials, but have done so on their own accord. God has been removed from their union. They’ve not experienced His blessings, but instead only endured year after year engrossed in self-reliance.

God wants us to place Him at the head of our marriage. He isn’t a statue set in the corner bookshelf or in a guest room. He’s not a magic lamp to be rubbed when times get tough. God wants an active, vibrant role in your marriage. His light is vital to maintaining the promise of joy in two becoming one in all aspects.

This marriage has not violated their covenant with God or each other, and by many accounts would be looked upon as a solid union. But it’s a two-legged table only propped against a wall. God’s inclusion, as it was in the Garden of Eden, creates the spiritual-strength through a true covenant-based marriage.

The church in Smyrna that suffered persecution:  (Revelation 2:8-11)

Couples who remain faithful to God and each other yet live in difficult circumstances are acknowledged by God. Often times the environment places external stressors on a couple that create opportunities for sin and faithlessness.
But, where these couples fall away from the grace of God is that they still cling to the old ways, before they entered into a marriage covenant with Him. Because the couple’s focus isn’t on God’s will, they promote a spirit of discontent that threatens other couples to stumble as well.
These are the couples who are often broken, but are valuable for mentoring other couples through their examples of faithfulness. Their ability to weather the storm holds favor, but they must return to their walk with Christ. God promises to reward them and bless them greatly for their return and service.   

The church in Pergamum that needed to repent: (Revelation 2:12-17)

Couples who are married in name only are an affront to the holy institution of marriage. Willfully allowing sin into their home desecrates the covenant taken with God.
Accepting things such as sexual immorality, pornography, irresponsible stewardship, covetousness, or any act of defiance deemed acceptable by the spouses. Many couples just grow weary and seek stimulation from outside sources.
Their carnal need to spice things up, lead them away from God’s will for the sanctity of marriage. God foresees the trials destined to befall couples who preach one thing, yet practice another. He is merciful and patient.
Once the couples find themselves shackled to the bowels of hell by their own sin, He is gracious to answer their pleas of forgiveness.
If your marriage has fallen off the tracks and you’ve turned to the world for spice, please return to Christ for salt. He will magnify your joy and satisfy your desires within the protective boundaries of matrimony.
The church in Thyatira embraced a false prophetess: (Revelation 2:18-29)
These couples genuinely exhibit five qualities: love, faith, service, patient endurance, and greater works. They might have started off on shaky grounds when first married, but they have grown together through time.
Where this couple falls away from God’s favor is the open invitation to false doctrine. They allow sexual immorality to enter into their marriage. Maybe it’s adultery, pornography, or sexual sin, but because they’ve believed a lie, they accept the presence of false beliefs. Rather than confessing and turning back to Christ for forgiveness, they remain locked into a practice of carnal sin.
God still loves these couples and promises them that remain faithful despite the temptations of easy sexual immorality without consequences (big lie) that they will know Jesus Christ in a very intimate relationship.
The church in Sardis had fallen asleep: (Revelation 3:1-6)
These couples put on a fantastic front-facing facade and present themselves in their community as a good, Christian couple. They may attend church services regularly and dress in their finest to go there, but the reality is, they care nothing about their walk with Christ.
Spiritually dead, they party until it’s time for the pew. Their hypocrisy is an affront to God and He has no tolerance for the charade. These couples must repent and seek God’s heart. They’d fare better by just avoiding church altogether as opposed to mocking faith with a once a week side-show.
As is the case with a merciful God, He calls those with a heart for Him to seek His voice. Sometimes the old saying “Fake it until you can make it,” applies here. These couples are in God’s house, they just need to come into God’s grace.
God is very clear in His distaste for those who pretend. He’s also very gracious for those who repent and accept Jesus Christ.
The church in Philadelphia had endured patiently: (Revelation 3:7-13)
God has a heart for these couples. While they are not perfect, they are perfect in their prioritizing the bible-based marriage model. God is the head of their family. The married couple come next and followed in importance by their children, whether biological or blended.
These couples avoid strife and that places them on the outskirts of social circles. Others seek to harm them or their reputations with false allegations or blindsided swipes while the couple is not looking.  These couples rest on the blessed assurance that God has them covered.
They are faithful to God, faithful to each other and faithful to their pursuit of the kingdom. These couples don’t have it easy by any means, but because they have endured tough times and persecution for the name of Jesus Christ, they know they are blessed and protected. Full faith defines these couples.
The church in Laodicea had lukewarm faith: (Revelation 3:14-22)
This couple really has no redeeming qualities. They are Godless, wretched and self-absorbed. God would rather them be hot or cold in their pursuit of Him, but the reality that they are lukewarm in their faith causes God to “spit them from His mouth.”
These couples don’t necessarily have to be wealthy, but it’s their materialistic hearts and covetousness spirit that causes the wide expanse between their desire and God’s will. Their non commitment or concern about their relationship with God will bring great rebuke upon the couple, but God does offer a way.
It is the same path we are allowed. Jesus Christ is the only way to the Father. These couples face the same dilemma as the New Testament’s rich, young ruler in Mark 10:17-27. Because he valued his possessions and riches, he turned from Jesus’s offer to sell them and follow Him.
God does desire to share a relationship with these couples. Jesus Christ is waiting right outside their door to be invited into their lives. He not only wants to come into their lives, but He wants to bless them greatly for their faithful seeking and invitation.

Which Couple Are You?

Married couples evolve throughout the course of their lives. Party pals may surrender to Christ and commit their days and ways to serving Him.
Couples who stood on the rock of solemn vows grow distant and detached as time and trials batter their once solid oath.
The goal isn’t to judge, but to assess. A marriage can only be as healthy as the least healthy person in the marriage. It’s a perfect opportunity to grow stronger as a couple.

Marriage On The Rock

Besides our MarriageToday certification as counselors, we were drawn to this course early on in our marriage. We want to pay forward the chance to help other couples the way we were helped.
We want to offer this to you Free. It’s an online course that is private and can be watched at your own time and pace. Every word is bible-based and sound in scripture and principle.
NOTE: I know most guys are going to refuse to watch this. Please, Please, Please ask them to just try one video. I promise, I had the same “resistance,” but thank God I dropped the macho man, and opted for loving husband.

Daily Prayer For Men

Daily Prayer For Men