FIT@50 \ week 10

Max being Cool

FIT@50 \ week 10

Tough Decisions: Right Reasons

Friday is the kiddo’s last day of school. He’s happy. I’m happy. It’s been a banner year, but it didn’t come without challenged emotions–mine.

The end of every school year includes an evaluation called IEP – individualized education program. It outlines his performance as compared to an expectation of established goals.

At the end of last school year, we all sat in those small desks and chairs to form an odd semi-circle of uncomfortable anticipation. School professionals reported their observations.

It’s a knife through the heart to hear your child “can’t” or “didn’t” or “shouldn’t.” The collection of educators were compassionate in delivering assessments, but the truth hurt. They recommended an alternative route to guide achievement more consistent with his ability. It was a hard pill to swallow, but we trusted them.

One year later and that meeting possibly included the best decisions made. The usual stress, depression and behavioral challenges associated with the former mainstream track were gone. He finished strong.

The cool, confident and funny kid we all adore remained that way. Reduced stress, meant increased learning in the courses more appropriate for his life track. Education comes in many forms – thanks to dedicated professionals willing to recommend the tough decisions for the right reasons, he found his.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Do good,


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WWYD: Police Scenarios

20080816FC  15/x   Tyler Zerby, 6, is given his father's hat by North Brunswick police Lt. Lisa Racz, at the funeral for North Brunswick Poice Lt. Christopher Zerby, at Franklin Memorial Park in North Brunswick on Saturday August 16, 2008.   Zerby was killed earlier in the week in an automobile accident with another officer.  NORTH BRUNSWICK, NJ  8/16/08  2:15:48 PM  FRANK H. CONLON/THE STAR-LEDGER

This is National Police Week & I ask that you keep all those who’ve paid the ultimate sacrifice in mind. So many of the scenarios we discuss every Monday, are real and play out everyday across the country. Officers have died trying to figure out the same dilemmas debated here.

Your partner is killed in the line of duty. What do you tell his kids?

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God covers all the bases.

2015-05-09 22.07.15

God covers all the bases.

Holding Max while he sleeps, I miss my mom more than ever. Always wishing that he could’ve known his “Nonny,” breaks my heart. For most of his young life I seldom mentioned my mom—speaking her name remains painful.

As he matured I began to talk about “Nonny” and show him pictures. She was a God-loving, gentle soul. They would have loved each other.

After 20 years unmarried, I finally began to pray for a wife because God placed that desire on my heart. It took over a year of faithful prayer to meet the woman God chose for me.

Last year we began merging family visits and activities. Her mom also came to visit on one of the early trips. Guess what they  call her?

God covers all the bases.

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FIT@50 \ week 9


FIT@50 \ week 9

Signs and wonders:

As I’ve matured, leaning on faith has become something on which I focus. Wishing I could say it came easy wouldn’t be the truth. I think it’s a by-product of occupational conditioning. Cops assume everything someone says is naturally not the truth until proven otherwise.

Skepticism requires a difficult deprogramming process, but is necessary for learning to trust others. The bible talks about reliance upon signs and wonders versus leaning on faith.

As I’ve learned in my FIT@50, some signs are good, even amazing. I had my post thought out earlier this week until I received a sign (actually it was an e-mail.) It changed everything. The simple words have given me joy all day.

I replied to the sender and said her e-mail was possibly one of the all-time favorite messages I’ve ever received. Why? Because it was a simple, selfless message sent out of sincere gratitude over a minimal gesture.

Sometimes signs are good.

Do good,


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FIT@50 \ week 8

2015-04-25 11.23.18-1FIT@50 \ week 8
I’ve been a part of teams my entire life – from sports to SWAT. Victory by each definition was the ultimate goal, and I trained to achieve them like my life depended on it. In some cases it actually did.

This past weekend, Liliana Hart​ and I joined our most favorite team to challenge ourselves and each other in an adventure run. Team Us enjoyed the planning, and kidding about how we’d perform. We even had fun picking out a “noticeable” team jersey.

There was no trophy to collect or hostage to rescue. There were only 3.2 miles of mud, cargo nets, rain and laughter to maneuver through.

The shirts dirtied, but the smiles brightened as Team Us pulled together for an amazing race. Being FIT@50 has showed me the various definitions of victory, but always maintaining the value of Team. Team Us.

Do Good,

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