Profiles In Personal Pain: Which One Are You and How Do You Manage It?

Profiles In Personal Pain: Which One Are You and How Do You Manage It?

What’s really eating away at you? Are regrets consuming your thoughts so you’re forced to shut them down? Can you sit in silence without a mental movie flooding your brain and demanding that you fill the quiet?

You’re not alone. The pain we carry from our past is tucked away and always available to muck up our lives or turn gold star moments into brown star regrets.

We allow pain, shame and regret to consume us with stress over how to cope with it. Unfortunately, the coping solves nothing. Healing does.

Have you developed your own secret way of helping to ease that hurt? Does your way involve something that if exposed, would embarrass, ruin your reputation or cost you a career? If so, then you are not working toward healing, you are enabling the hurt.

God gives us examples and consequences of how avoiding Him only drags out the injury. There are three primary ways we try to manage pain.

Why do we avoid God? Because the devil whispers in our ear that we’re not worthy, and that we can’t trust God because all He wants to do is convict and punish us. I will tell you that there is no other way than through Jesus Christ the great healer and physician.

~DAVID~

King David was exalted as a great and mighty ruler. God himself, chose David to be king over Israel because of what He saw on the inside.

Man looks at how someone appears on the outside.

But I look at what is in the heart.

1 Samuel 16:7b

Although David was anointed by God, he didn’t come to the throne without serious personal baggage. David is a lot like us in carrying personal pain from our past.

Medication is the first way of unsuccessfully dealing with pain. David’s medication of choice was the flesh. His sexual addiction caused problems for everyone associated with him.

David’s pain was rooted in the rejection by his father. He wasn’t considered worthy of meeting the prophet Samuel who came to anoint a ruler. Yet, there in that rejected, messed up boy, Israel had a king. David’s rejection stung and stuck. Have you been hurt by a parent, and never forgave them? This injury doesn’t heal in time.

I’ll share that as a kid, I’d gotten a red warm-up suit with white stripes. It looked just like my hero, Steve Austin, The Six Million Dollar Man (Not the wrestler.) I wore it everywhere.

One day my dad called out to me, but I was mixing it up with the neighborhood kids. Then I heard his words very clearly, “Hey, idiot in that red suit, I’m talking to you.” I was about ten years old. I stuffed that track suit in the trash, and forty-two years later, those words still hurt.

~SOLOMON~

The son of David, Solomon was by far the wealthiest and most wise human ever to grace the earth. Even though, he was born out of scandal with Bathsheba as his mother. He was a result of sexual sin, and the generational curse of his father continued to plague him too.

Motivation and achievements were Solomon’s failed attempt to soothe his pain. The more he accumulated the less he felt deserving. In Ecclesiastes 2 he shares the futility of trying to outwork his hurt.

I’ve included this small section of the scripture, but please read the entire Chapter 2:1-24.

10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;

I refused my heart no pleasure.

My heart took delight in all my labor,

and this was the reward for all my toil.

11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done

and what I had toiled to achieve,

everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;

nothing was gained under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

This is so personal to me, as I suspect it is to many of you. I crushed and conquered my way through a career, athletics and academics, only to help me feel less empty. It soon became impossible to fill this empty spaces. Our spirit requires peace, not prizes.

~ABSALOM~

There is a third unhealthy way of dealing with our hurt. Absalom was David’s son and Solomon’s half-brother. His pain, like many with a dominant parent, began at home. Absalom also suffered from intense guilt over doing nothing to defend his sister from a sexual attack by another half-brother.

Meditation stewed in his spirit as hatred intensified. For two years he avoided confronting his feelings and the offender before it erupted, and he killed his brother.

Attacks against others is what defines him. Are you feeling the rage of regret and wrongdoings roil beneath the surface while you look for an outlet to unleash your fury upon?

God placed a message on my heart in the recent past that remains with me today. “Avoiding is not winning.” You can only sweep so much junk under the rug. If it’s confessing a wrong to a friend, spouse, co-worker, or forgiving yourself for messing up once again, time does not heal all wounds. It is a lie, so don’t let stuff fester in your soul.

Which One Are You?

Do you booze it until you lose it, yet it’s worse than it began? Please understand that the substances used to fight addiction are not the problem. The problem is you’re using addictive substances to avoid healing from your pain.

Brothers and sisters; drinking, screwing and fighting will not heal your hurt. Don’t listen to the devil. You are good and you are worthy to be loved. God wants to heal you because He loves you. He’s not waiting to smack you like a carnival game of whack-a-mole. Allow yourself to heal. It’s better than the hurt.

Much Love,

Scott-Leah Silverii

Pray God Changes You Before Praying Change In Others

Pray God Changes You Before Praying Change In Others

I went live on Facebook (original post) after receiving numerous requests for prayer. The volume of requests weren’t the issue. I love it, but the topic seemed to show that the guys who were reaching out had possibly missed the mark on the purpose of prayer, and it’s power to change.

When I started Brick Breakers a few months ago, I fully expected that a site dedicated to supporting men in their walk with Christ was going to be like sitting in our backyard at night – dark and full of crickets.

I knew God had moved me to start the outreach, but I know guys, and we don’t express our feelings or show vulnerability – EVER.

So, I expected to generate content, and prayed that men would read it and benefit from knowing they were being prayed for.

God really does have it together so much more than I do!

The page continues to grow each week, and although this wasn’t created to count hands, the outpouring of honesty has become a blessing and a lesson learned.

There is such a great desire among men to know more about walking with Christ. They share their struggles, prayers and blessings. I’ve loved watching them reach out and promise to pray for each other. It’s gelling as a very cool community.

But back to the video call-out.

I get many messages from guys who want their wife to return. They say they cherish marriage and want to save it. They also assure that they’ve changed and that their wife either doesn’t believe them or doesn’t want to return.

And while I understand the intentions of their requests, it became important that I try to sharpen their focus on the spiritual realities of praying for someone else be changed by God to suit their personal preferences.

I posted this below in the content of the Facebook post, but wanted to share the short video that goes into detail about praying for change. Please, if you find yourself doing or praying for the same things, give this a view and allow it to help set your prayer life on a direct track with God’s desire.

POST NOTES:

Change:
Do you pray for God to change other people? Think about this for a second.
1-Your prayers are Spirit centered, not self centered.
2-You’re spiritually ready to accept the blessing of an answered prayer.
3-Before you ask God to change someone else, pray that He changes you first so others may see the Christ in you. 

Much Love / Much Respect,

Scott

As certified through the MarriageToday ministry’s Marriage On The Rock course, my wife and I want to offer this Divorce-Proofing course to you as our gift. It saved our marriage and it will help save or strengthen yours.

CLICK TO DIVORCE PROOF


Try To Imagine It Without Him

Try To Imagine It Without Him

We are so incredibly blessed to be covered by God’s grace. To be men of God is mighty and humbling. Sure, times get tough. We even stumble and fall, but in Christ we do not fail.

Try to imagine doing this life without Him.

We are blessed with an incredible gift. We did nothing to earn it or deserve it, yet God loves us so much to trust us with it. Never feel that you are less than or undeserving of love. We were crafted by Him and in His image. How powerful is that.

Now we must #GO. Go forward and serve others. Jesus didn’t come to be served but to serve. Let’s focus this week on leading our wife, kids and friends toward the true gift of Christmas – Christ.

I’m a sinner saved by God’s grace, but in His perfect love you and me are called to be His army of Christian soldiers. I’ll see you in the trenches, Brothers.

Much Love/Much Respect,
Scott Silverii

When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.” Judges 6:12

Pray Like A Man: Warrior’s Life

Pray Like A Man: Warrior’s Life

I love to pray. It’s my time to communicate with my Father. I start off in a loving praise and thanksgiving along with just talking to Him about recent events. I recap continuing prayers and situations I have given to God to handle. I also pray for you in our Brick Breakers community of warriors who have stepped into the #Trenches for Christ.
 
Somewhere along the way, I quit thinking about what to say and the connection begins to mesh on a spiritual realm. God often stops me from moving in one direction and leads me back where He wants me to be. Then I know I’m in His will.
 
I’ve learned to pray with expectancy. We are going before the Creator of all. If you’re not sure what you are praying for, then think through your requests first. God promises you Himself that He will grant your every desire. The key is that the desires of your heart must be in alignment with God’s desire for your life.
 
If you feel like your prayers are bouncing back off the ceiling, then search your soul like David, and make sure that the barrier of sin is not cutting off your connection to Him. God cannot listen to or look upon sin. Go to Him in confession and repentance. God will not get mad at you – He loves you.
 
We are men of God. The first place to begin acting like it is in communication with Him. Go to Him with a humble, sin-free heart. Then be bold about His love for you. He says to ask and you shall receive…but you must ask in accordance to His will for your life. How do you know His will? Ask Him.
 
What do you see when you look at the man in this image? Weak, broken, sad, alone?
 
How about at peace, humility, confident, in prayer, expecting miracles, spending time with his Father.
 
I love praying for others, but please do not ever forget the power you possess to pray over your wife, kids, family, friends and yourself. You are His son, and He loves you like crazy. Show Him some love back. I try to give God shout outs through the day. A quick Thank you, Lord when I arrive somewhere safe, or meet someone new, or feel the presence of the Holy Spirit move, or have a great meal.
 
I love this from James. He talks about Elijah, who was like you and me and prayed power over the weather. With full on winter coming, how great would that be?
 
Warriors, let’s always exercise our spiritual strength and pray like men.
 
Much Love / Much Respect,
“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit.”
James 5:16-18
PLEASE SHARE – Pray Like A Man: Warrior’s Life

FIT@50Week 94: Approaching the New Year Happily

FIT@50Week 94: Approaching the New Year Happily