10 Days of 31 Days: Going Too Far
We’ve been allowing the puppy the freedom to roam throughout the house of late.
Today, we taught him to walk up the stairs and then encouraged him to walk back down the stairs. He was naturally hesitant and a little frightened, but with some encouragement he made his way up and down the stairs and up and down the stairs and up and down the stairs.
He was well beyond his kennel and the area that he felt most safe within. As time went by we noticed that he went up the stairs but did not come down as quickly as he should have.
We discovered why he was lingering upstairs. He decided to create an impromptu potty pad called the entire upstairs. The lesson learned was that he was not ready or able to operate beyond a set boundary.
Therefore, his days of roaming free were cut short and he was relegated back to the confines of a white plastic kennel in the corner of the living room albeit next to a cozy fireplace.
Of course nothing goes without reminding me of some life lesson.
I married Leah after about 20 years of being divorced, or maybe at some point you become classified as single again. But I digress.
It was tough to accept the concept of boundaries. I’d never had them and when the topic came up I was slightly offended at the suggestion.
Well, our first year didn’t go so well because of among other things; breaching boundaries.
Thankfully, I came to understand that boundaries are not meant to box us in. They’re created to protect what’s of value on the inside.
Boundaries take many forms in marriage. They protect from threats against love, security and significance between spouses.
The weapons used to breach boundaries may be money, untrustworthy associates, habits and behaviors or even family.
Protecting yourself and your marriage with boundaries allows what’s safe on the inside to enjoy true intimacy through transparency and accountability.
And just like the puppy’s first foray beyond his space, consequences for venturing outside of boundaries may end up like the piles of poop he left waiting for all of the kids who’d encouraged him to climb upstairs beyond his boundary.
Categories: Dr. Scott Silverii
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